Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Anger and other emotions

Right now I'm angry.  Things have kept building up over the last few weeks, and i don't know what to do.

Over a month ago, we took Holland to her Doctor so we could get a referral to the audiologist.  Before we could get to the audiologist, she got some kind of virus and was vomiting for a couple days.  Of course, the other kids got it too, and it was a marathon of laundry and cleaning for a week.

We went to the audiologist appointment that Friday, a week after Holland was well again.  We have had concerns for a while now that she can't hear.  The audiologist said she had fluid in her ears, so we needed to come back in a couple weeks and test again.

Meanwhile, she got sick again, this time starting with a light rash and then moving on with a very high fever which resulted in vomiting.  She kept nothing down for days.  When I took her to urgent care, I was told it was viral and would pass.  It did, after a week.

Then began the mysterious night vomiting.  She was 100% fine all day! and each night she would vomit far about 1/2 hour or less.  Then she would happily fall back asleep until morning.  No other signs of anything wrong. That started last Monday night and continued through til Saturday night, with the exception of Thursday night.

Also, every couple days, starting last week Tuesday morning, she has had the runniest poopy diapers I have ever seen.  All over her bed.  And yet, she is still fine all day.

She also refuses to drink more than a couple sips of water here and there.  

Her second hearing test was about the same as the first, still fluid that needs to drain before we will get any answers.

Today, after getting home from play group, I noticed that she has a goopy eye.  And now I hear her coughing in her crib.

Will it ever end?!!!

I'm just so exhausted with it all.  I am watching her lose weight when she is already petite.  It's overwhelming enough to think that she most likely is hard of hearing, never mind all this other stuff.  

Add this to brand new shoes being stolen at school, a well meaning daughter cutting brand new socks with scissors, and several other frustrating things, and I'm ready to blow.

Friday, September 26, 2014

Mesothelioma Cancer... What is it?

I was recently contacted by a lovely woman named Heather about a topic that she is very passionate about sharing.  She asked if I would come out of blog hiding to share it with you, and I sincerely hope there are still some of you out there who will see this!

Just eight years ago, months after giving birth to her daughter, Lily, Heather was diagnosed with Mesothelioma, a rare cancer that is caused by exposure to asbestos.  Miraculously, she survived this deadly disease through surgery, and now she wants people to know that Mesothelioma is preventable.

Mesothelioma is caused primarily by exposure to asbestos.  Did you know that asbestos was very commonly used in building materials in the past?  The very fine particles lodge themselves in the lungs and can cause problems years down the road.

There are about 2,500-3000 diagnoses in the United States each year  (Read more: http://www.mesothelioma.com/mesothelioma/#ixzz3ERsF4hge).  The survival rate is just 10%, which sounds quite grim, though it is gradually improving as diagnosis happens in earlier stages.

I encourage you to read the facts.  Let's learn about this disease so it can be prevented in the future!

Tuesday, September 09, 2014

Story formed

For the past few years I have been learning greatly from a wonderful woman named Sally Clarkson.  She is the kind of woman one could only dream of having for a mentor.  I can just imagine chatting with her over a cup of tea (something I know we both love).

Sally happens to be the mother of four wonderful children, the oldest of which is around my age.  Her name is Sarah.  Sarah has a dream of all children being able to grow up in a world of story.  She has written a great resource for parents called Read for the Heart.  I have used it several times to help me choose books for my kids.

Today Sarah Clarkson announced that her latest book is ready!  It's called Caught up in a Story.  She has a few giveaways going on over at her blog right now, in celebration of the book launch.  Make sure to check it out at www.storyformed.com!

Saturday, July 19, 2014

YouTube Debut

Bria and Emery both enjoy watching videos on YouTube.  I let them watch a few beauty related videos here and there.  Sometimes I catch them talking to themselves in the mirror, pretending they are making videos.  Today I decided to let them make their own, and they had a blast!

Without further adieu, here they are!

Friday, January 10, 2014


January is usually a time of lofty goals and resolutions.  Here are my thoughts on 2013, and looking forward to what 2014 holds.

2013 was overwhelming in so many ways.  Here is a short timeline.

February - packed up all of our earthly possessions for our very first (and hopefully last) move with the kids.  We had lived in our previous home for 8 1/2 years!

March - the beginning of March brought our moving day... And a major blizzard.  Within the first week of moving to a new house, I managed to "meet" our new neighbours by backing into their car.  Not so pleasant!  It meant making claims, a trip to Autopac, all new car seats, and some embarrassment on my part.

April - on the 14th we welcomed our fourth child.  Another girl!  Holland Grace was a bit of a surprise, in many senses.  She has brought a whole new dynamic and craziness to our home.  I don't know if I have totally adjusted to keeping up with four kids!

May - Keith turned 30!  His wonderful family graciously did all the planning and preparing for the party.  They brought everything to our house so we could just sit back and enjoy the day.

July - this month brought a whole new level of fear for me.  While Keith was away on a business trip, I experienced a very frightening anxiety attack.  A new low in my life, and one I know I will never forget.., but one that I am so ready to walk away from forever.

July was also the month that we should have celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary.  We didn't get to.  It was another very low moment in my year.  We were supposed to travel to Italy... Instead we were home, trying to survive life in general.

September - the kids started school at their new school.  This was a pretty emotional time, as Rowan and Bria both really missed their old school and their friends.  They have adjusted fairly well, though they still talk about it sometimes.

November  - this month brought me to my 30th birthday.  The day itself was another huge letdown for me.  Doesn't everyone celebrate hard on milestone birthdays?  I didn't.  I spent my day fighting with a baby who refused to sleep, and with my selfish feelings.  Over the next week I was treated to a few nights out for coffee, an awesome gift from my husband, and some great family meals/time with both the Thiessens and Friesens.

The rest of 2013 was pretty much survival mode.., with the last two months full of illness in our home.  We honestly haven't had more than a couple days without anyone feeling some sort of ill.  

So... On to 2014!  When I look back, I see a year of testing.  Will I still turn to God?  Will I trust that he is good, no matter what?  Will I lean on Him for strength?  I will be honest and say that it was unbearable at times.  I questioned why God would even make a world that He knew was just going to be full of trials and pain.  But I always knew in my heart that He was with me.  That if I would only take the time, I would see that He was at work.

So, have I grown?  I hope so.  I know that the next part of the journey may not be any easier for me, but I'm willing to take the step.

My goals for 2014... In a nutshell

1 to speak less and listen more
2 to search for joy where I know it is... In God's presence
3 to take a leap of faith and try my hand at leading a small group of women in a book study

That's it.  But I know that it will be enough of a challenge.  Now, it's off to my normal, everyday life.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Mom Hair

Just before Holland was born, I decided to get a little trim off my hair. I wanted to keep it just long enough to fit in a ponytail.

I figured with 4 kids there was NO WAY I would have time to style my hair.

For the most part, that was true.  I still feel super rushed in the mornings.

But I'm ready to try and take some time for myself again.  Time to revamp the hair and buy some new makeup (I totally ran out of foundation the other day.)

So, I have a few pictures to show you, and I'm hoping for some great advice!

I'm incredibly inept when it comes to hair styles and styling hair.  I can do a ponytail, haha!  And I don't own a straightener.  I did once, and didn't like it.

My hair is super fine, thin, and lacking in volume.

Anyway, here is me, currently.  This isn't the greatest picture, but it does show my hair.

This is what I have done in the past, and loved.  The video is from a couple years ago.  It's fun to watch my cute little girlies in the background :)

This is a super cute pixie cut that I'm considering.

This is a cut I got a couple years ago, and regretted very quickly.  It just wasn't quite right.

So, what do you think?

Friday, October 04, 2013

Discipleship & Discipline ~ Practical Parenting Help for the Desperate Mom (Sally Clarkson & Sarah Mae)

Recently, Sally ClarksonSarah Mae offered an online live seminar for parents on Discipleship & Discipline.  I was very excited to learn that the webinar was recorded and that it was being offered as a 4 lesson course.  When given the opportunity to review it, I jumped!

Discovering Sally and Sarah Mae was one of the best things that has happened in my parenting journey.  Sarah Mae is a Mom in the same stage of life as me, and she has so many of the same struggles as me.  Sally is her mentor who has shown her how to be a gracious, loving mother.  The focus on grace is so refreshing!

Sally and Sarah Mae have put together this eCourse as a result of so many moms asking for pracitcal advice.  After their book, Desperate, came out this past year, they decided to take a very proactive role as mentors to moms.  I am SO thankful!  

So far I have worked my way through the first three videos of the seminar, and it's been so encouraging.  Sally gives great real life examples of how she trained and discipled her children.  This is good for me, because I have a hard time thinking of pracitcal ways to implement ideas.  Sarah Mae also shares how she has dealt with some of her own struggles in parenting.

The course titles are as follows:

Day 1: Laying a Foundation of Love - Sally teaches how to reach the heart of your children.

Day 2: Parenting a Wild One - Sarah Mae shares her personal experience of parenting a strong willed child in order to give hope.

Day 3: Heartfelt Discipline - Sally gives practical advice on how to train and disciple your children.

Day 4: Mothering in Freedom - Sarah Mae takes you through her eBook, Core Lies.

Click here to purchase the 4 Lesson eCourse!