Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Today is a day that I just want to crawl into my bed and never come out. Things with my kids have NOT been going good lately, and I don't know what to do.
Bria is a relatively happy baby, but she doesn't sleep well during the day most days, so it's hard to do anything else while she's awake. She likes a lot of attention, and usually I don't mind giving it to her either, but my back is just getting really sore from holding her all the time.
Rowan, well that's a whole other story. He is definately in the SUPER terrible 2's. He won't listen to a word I say, whether I'm calm and relaxed, or threatening with punishments. I'm to the point of not wanting to take him anywhere, because I just don't feel like dealing with him in public. It's embarassing and tiring and I'm just done. I don't even want to take him to visit my family because I feel like the worlds worst mother when I'm there.
When I was younger and dreaming of the day that I would get married and start a family, I always thought I would be a great mom. Now I'm not so sure that's the case. I just feel rotten.
Today we were at the church for Women's Breakaway, and I just wanted to run away. Bria was screaming, Rowan was disobeying, and the ladies were trying to have a prayer time. We went into the library for awhile and I just choked back the tears because I just didn't know what to do.
Rowan also doesn't want to go to Sunday school anymore, he doesn't want to play with the kids during Women's Breakaway, or go to Junior Church on Sundays. I feel so bad for Keith, since he hasn't been able to sit in
Sunday School or Church for a few months now. He's always
with Rowan, and I'm with Bria. There seems to be no point to going there either.
I just really needed to get this all out, so I'm sorry if you are reading this and wish I would just suck it up and be happy. Today I'm just NOT.
Posted by Stacey at Wednesday, October 31, 2007