The last few weeks have been a bit rough. I've posted about that a few times now, but I just can't seem to get out of this feeling of failure. It seems I just can't do any of the things that I know I should do, and really need to do.
The rental house is still sitting there as a near disaster, and we have a new tenant that wants to move his stuff in tomorrow. We had originally thought that a different person was going to rent from us, and she only wanted to move in June, so we thought we had a whole month to clean. She decided that she doesn't want to move until later in the summer, so now we're up a creek!
I refuse to drag my kids into that filth, yet I have no where else to leave them either. So, it has basically sat there just taunting me for the past week and I can't do anything about it.
Today I might finally get something done there, but I'm in panic mode now, and you can probably see the stress pouring out of me. I have a friend coming over to my house while my kids nap (Bria is not fond of babysitters) and my cousin might be able to help me for an hour or so. I HATE asking people to help me with my problems.
Then the house needs to be painted, and the floors cleaned, the cabinets cleaned, the stove could use a good scrubbing... the list could go on and on.
Our house doesn't make me any more hopeful. Once I start getting discouraged, it's almost like I can't make myself get up and do something. So, my house is totally neglected too. It's a vicious cycle.
Anyone have a hole big enough for me to hide out for a while? That's what I want to do. Just curl up in a hole and be by myself. Not sure it would help anything, but at least I wouldn't have to see all the things that I need to do. *sigh* I hope tomorrow is a better day, but I'm really doubting that at this point.