Friday, May 02, 2008

Feeling close to Failure

The last few weeks have been a bit rough. I've posted about that a few times now, but I just can't seem to get out of this feeling of failure. It seems I just can't do any of the things that I know I should do, and really need to do.

The rental house is still sitting there as a near disaster, and we have a new tenant that wants to move his stuff in tomorrow. We had originally thought that a different person was going to rent from us, and she only wanted to move in June, so we thought we had a whole month to clean. She decided that she doesn't want to move until later in the summer, so now we're up a creek!

I refuse to drag my kids into that filth, yet I have no where else to leave them either. So, it has basically sat there just taunting me for the past week and I can't do anything about it.

Today I might finally get something done there, but I'm in panic mode now, and you can probably see the stress pouring out of me. I have a friend coming over to my house while my kids nap (Bria is not fond of babysitters) and my cousin might be able to help me for an hour or so. I HATE asking people to help me with my problems.

Then the house needs to be painted, and the floors cleaned, the cabinets cleaned, the stove could use a good scrubbing... the list could go on and on.

Our house doesn't make me any more hopeful. Once I start getting discouraged, it's almost like I can't make myself get up and do something. So, my house is totally neglected too. It's a vicious cycle.

Anyone have a hole big enough for me to hide out for a while? That's what I want to do. Just curl up in a hole and be by myself. Not sure it would help anything, but at least I wouldn't have to see all the things that I need to do. *sigh* I hope tomorrow is a better day, but I'm really doubting that at this point.


Jobina said...

I'm sorry you feel down Stacey! I know what it's like to feel overwhelmed and yet HATE to ask for help. Is there anyone that might not mind helping you clean? I don't have a hole, but I have a nice big garage sale to go to the day before Mother's Day that you're welcome to join me for!

Sheila said...

Ah the joys of rental properties! My parents always owned one of those too, except that theirs was brand new, and their one went on a crazy rampage, destroyed the place and left a trail of blood to go with that. really nice. Took days to clean it up, not trying to discourage you, but if you want to own rental property, you better be willing to deal with the stress that goes along with that.

Andrea said...

I sure wish we lived closer! I think I say that at least once a week! haha. It's true though. I would be there in a second to watch your kids or help you clean (as much as I could in my pregnant state!!) So, I guess I'll do the only thing I can do from way over here, I'll pray for you...that it'll all get done, and that the load will be lifted and you can relax very soon!

Elaine said...

If it would be already October, I would be there to help you in less then five minutes, but it is May. And I can’t come over tomorrow (Vitali is gone for hunting). Well so I just can say: “Put a smile on your face. I mean do it now, really, it helps you fell better.” I know you have much more power in you than you know, just let it out. Ps. 46, 1