January is usually a time of lofty goals and resolutions. Here are my thoughts on 2013, and looking forward to what 2014 holds.
2013 was overwhelming in so many ways. Here is a short timeline.
February - packed up all of our earthly possessions for our very first (and hopefully last) move with the kids. We had lived in our previous home for 8 1/2 years!
March - the beginning of March brought our moving day... And a major blizzard. Within the first week of moving to a new house, I managed to "meet" our new neighbours by backing into their car. Not so pleasant! It meant making claims, a trip to Autopac, all new car seats, and some embarrassment on my part.
April - on the 14th we welcomed our fourth child. Another girl! Holland Grace was a bit of a surprise, in many senses. She has brought a whole new dynamic and craziness to our home. I don't know if I have totally adjusted to keeping up with four kids!
May - Keith turned 30! His wonderful family graciously did all the planning and preparing for the party. They brought everything to our house so we could just sit back and enjoy the day.
July - this month brought a whole new level of fear for me. While Keith was away on a business trip, I experienced a very frightening anxiety attack. A new low in my life, and one I know I will never forget.., but one that I am so ready to walk away from forever.
July was also the month that we should have celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. We didn't get to. It was another very low moment in my year. We were supposed to travel to Italy... Instead we were home, trying to survive life in general.
September - the kids started school at their new school. This was a pretty emotional time, as Rowan and Bria both really missed their old school and their friends. They have adjusted fairly well, though they still talk about it sometimes.
November - this month brought me to my 30th birthday. The day itself was another huge letdown for me. Doesn't everyone celebrate hard on milestone birthdays? I didn't. I spent my day fighting with a baby who refused to sleep, and with my selfish feelings. Over the next week I was treated to a few nights out for coffee, an awesome gift from my husband, and some great family meals/time with both the Thiessens and Friesens.
The rest of 2013 was pretty much survival mode.., with the last two months full of illness in our home. We honestly haven't had more than a couple days without anyone feeling some sort of ill.
So... On to 2014! When I look back, I see a year of testing. Will I still turn to God? Will I trust that he is good, no matter what? Will I lean on Him for strength? I will be honest and say that it was unbearable at times. I questioned why God would even make a world that He knew was just going to be full of trials and pain. But I always knew in my heart that He was with me. That if I would only take the time, I would see that He was at work.
So, have I grown? I hope so. I know that the next part of the journey may not be any easier for me, but I'm willing to take the step.
My goals for 2014... In a nutshell
1 to speak less and listen more
2 to search for joy where I know it is... In God's presence
3 to take a leap of faith and try my hand at leading a small group of women in a book study