Wednesday, December 16, 2015

The blues

I'm not sure I can pinpoint the exact reason why, but I'm feeling defeated lately.  I just want to raise my white flag and say I give up.  

Parenting is a struggle.  It's been hard for me at every stage, from one kid through the fourth.  The fourth is just an extreme challenge right now.  Everything turns into a screaming tantrum.  And it goes on and on.  She is currently on the floor screaming for who knows what reason.  This morning is was a fit at the grocery store because she wanted to eat all the oranges and I said no.

Yesterday we found out that her processor wasn't working.  No idea how long it had been that way, which is my fault for not checking more frequently.  So now she is freaked out by the sound all over again and is fighting wearing it.  That's right, people. It's not all sunshine and roses when you get a cochlear implant.  It's hard work.  

My other girls have also been exerting their strong wills lately.  Seriously, I don't think I will survive parenting with my sanity intact.  I guess it's payback from my childhood.  Sorry, Mom and Dad.  I know I wasn't a very easy kid either.

I know that I will have a good day again sometime.  I'm sure of it.  Sometimes life is just hard.  

1 comment:

Hillary said...

HI Stacey!
I know we don't know each other very well, but I have been following your blog for a while now :) (makes me feel like a stalker to say that, but I'm pretty sure we've at least met a couple times through your sister in laws!)
I just wanted to let you know that I prayed for your encouragement as soon as I read this post and I really wish that I could hug you and tell you in person that I think you're a wonderful mom! Even just from your blogs, I can tell that you love your kiddos and would do anything for them!
I felt your pain as I read this post and wanted to let you know that you're not alone in this motherhood journey! I know you've got a lot of years on me in this 'career' as I'm only a year and a half in, but I hope it encourages you to know that I too have these days of defeat! Last week was an especially difficult one dealing with a sick toddler who can't communicate his needs very well and I was exhausted...but things are looking up and getting better each day. I know that my situation is very different from yours, but we are still on this refining journey of motherhood together and I want to encourage you that things will get better!
I'm currently working my way through the Desperate Moms book and it's really been encouraging to know we're not alone and I've been convicted to remind other Mamas of that more often...but I know some days it doesn't feel that way!
Know that I will be thinking of you often and praying for you as you come to mind. Keep on clinging to Christ and He'll supply you with the grace you need for each day!
Your sister in Him,
Hillary :)